One More Conversation

grandma and grand daugther

If I could pick up the phone and have one more conversation with you, what would I say? I’d ask you your thoughts on LLBean’s new return policy. Or tell you that I was actually kind of jealous of those activities you went to the senior center because they sound fun! I’d explain to you how I purposely dodged your phone call on my 22nd birthday, knowing you’d sing to me and leave it on a voicemail. I called you back right away but saved your message to listen to every year. Or that the guardian angel you gave me for my car? I’m pretty sure it has saved me half a dozen times.

I’d tell you about my husband and you’d hear the smile in my voice. I wish you could meet him–he’s incredibly charming. Though I may have to warn you, he has several tattoos, so don’t tease him when he says he got one “just because.” I’d describe our wedding day to you and how beautiful it was. I wish you could have been there (though, maybe you were watching). And if I’m lucky, you’d share a story about your special day, one I’d yet to hear. I’d ask you all the questions I didn’t think of before.

I’d tell you how much you inspire me to be the person I am today. I saw your strength as the years progressed and I strive to be as you were; resilient and determined even in the most difficult times. I admire your positivity and even your humor. When most people would be struggling to accept reality, you were making the best of the situation.

I’d tell you how much my life has changed in the two years since I’ve seen you, and that I so badly wish you could be apart of it, now more than ever. I imagine your response to all that has happened, and I know you’d be so happy.

Most importantly, I’d tell you I love you. Thank you for being the best grandma I could have asked for. I think about you every day, and I know you’re at peace with Grandpa, enjoying that BBQ he was waiting to start until you arrived. While I miss you, you live on in the stories people share, the nicknacks you loved that were passed along, the Christmas music that plays for your favorite holiday, and the hearts you’ve touched over the years.

Amanda Clarkson

Amanda is a runner powered by vegetarian cuisine and sunshine. She is a baker by day and is determined to figure out the rest as she goes along. In her book, there is always room for change.

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